i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
