Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
