I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
