you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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