it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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