Swine flu. Run for my life!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
