WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
