i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
