Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
