So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize