I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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