i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
