hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
