that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
