am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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