It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Randomize
