its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
