dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
