Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many

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(419): View more from Ohio

We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended

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(908): View more from New Jersey

In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.

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(310): View more from California

Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday

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