Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
