Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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