you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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