So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
