How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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