I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
