Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize