i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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