look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
