Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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