i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
