the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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