Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
