Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize