Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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