i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
