ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
