So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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