how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
