There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
