And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
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I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
