That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
