Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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