My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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