Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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