Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
