I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
