That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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