make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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