so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
