There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
