it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
