im having a threesome with these popsicles
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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