I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
nutella sex= disaster
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just puked most of my soul out..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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