Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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