i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
