Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
