Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
