Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
