I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
