non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
