Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
