Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
