i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
