im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
