is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
