you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
