if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
