ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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