like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
