How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
